"Conflict is an unavoidable component of human activity" - Brahnam et al., (2005:p204)
Conflict arises from differences. It occurs whenever people disagree over their values, motivations, perceptions, ideas, or desires. Sometimes these differences look trivial, but when a conflict triggers strong feelings, a deep personal need is at the core of the problem - a need to feel safe and secure, a need to feel respected and valued, or a need for greater closeness and intimacy. Conflict Resolution otherwise known as reconciliation, is conceptualized as the methods and processes involved in facilitating the peaceful ending of conflict and retribution.
Tips for managing and resolving conflict:
Managing and resolving conflict requires emotional maturity, self-control, and empathy. It can be tricky, frustrating, and even frightening. You can ensure that the process is as positive as possible by sticking to the following conflict resolution guidelines:
1. Make the relationship your priority - Maintaining and strengthening the relationship,rather than “winning” the argument, should always be your first priority.
2. Be respectful of the other person and his or her viewpoint.
3. Pick your battles - Conflicts can be draining, so it’s important to consider whether the issue is really worthy of your time and energy. Maybe you don't want to surrender a parking space if you’ve been circling for 15 minutes. But if there are dozens of spots, arguing over a single space isn’t worth it.
4. Focus on the present - If you’re holding on to old hurts and resentments, your ability to see the reality of the current situation will be impaired. Rather than looking to the past and assigning blame, focus on what you can do in the here and now to solve the problem.
6. Know when to let something go - If you can’t come to an agreement, agree to disagree. It takes two people to keep an argument going. If a conflict is going nowhere, you can choose to disengage and move on.
5 Strategies for Dealing with Conflict:
1. Compete or Fight - This is the classic win/lose situation, where the strength and power of one person wins the conflict. It has its place, but anyone using it needs to be aware that it will create a loser and if that loser has no outlet for expressing their concerns, then it will lead to severe hurt.
2. Collaboration - This is the ideal outcome. a win/win situation. However, it requires input of time from those involved to work through the difficulties, find a way to solve the problem that is agreeable to all and may take a long time but will produce great results in end.
3. Compromise or Negotiation - This is likely to result in a better result than win/lose, but it’s not quite win/win. Both parties give up something, in favor of an agreed mid-point solution. It takes less time than collaboration, but is likely to result in less commitment to the outcome.
4. Denial or Avoidance - This is where everyone pretends that there is no problem. It will create a lose/lose situation, since there will still be bad feeling, but no clearing the air through discussion, and results.In short - ‘I’m not OK, you’re not OK’.
5. Smoothing Over the Problem - On the surface, harmony is maintained, but underneath, there is still conflict. It’s similar to the situation above, except that one person is probably OK with this smoothing, while the other remains in conflict, creating a win/lose situation again. It can work where preserving a relationship is more important than dealing with the conflict right now, but is not useful if others feel the need to deal with the situation.
Conflict Resolution Skills - http://www.edcc.edu/counseling/documents/Conflict.pdf
How to manage conflict - https://hbr.org/2007/11/how-to-manage-conflict/
